I was born in Charleston South Carolina

I am from Hawaii. Colorado. Wisconsin. Florida.

I am from instability to instability.

Never in any place longer than 4 years.

I am great at making friends, 

I don’t know how to keep them.

I am from back woods. County lines. Tubing in the river.

I am from horseback riding. Motorcycle rallies. 

I am from target practice in the yard.

From everyone knows everyone. “What church do you go to?”

I want to bake cookies for the neighbors, 

I care too much what strangers think of me.

I am from track. Cross country. Half marathons. Triathlons.

I am from soccer. Softball. Lifting. 

I am from Yoga. Hiking. Biking. Kayaking.

From fit is sexy. Just a littler tanner. Teeth a little whiter.

If I’m not working out consistently, 

I worry too much about how my body looks.

I am from a world hyper focused on outward appearance.

I am from TikTok. Instagram. Facebook. Myspace. “How many followers do you have?” 

I am from my only currency is my body.

From lash extensions. Dying my hair. Microblading. Freckle tattoos.

I need far too much outward praise, 

I don’t feel sexy unless someone else is saying it.

I am from crafts. Bracelets. Sketching. Painting. Writing.

I am from soap making. Candle making. Epoxy.

I am from keyboard. From guitar. 

From “You’re too damaged to be successful.”

I start projects and rarely finish them, 

just trying to be good at something.

I am from crystals. Tarot. Wicca. Taoism. Buddhism. Hinduism.

I am from “The universe always provides.” “You can do anything your heart desires.”

I am from “I’ll clean that later.” “I forgot.”

From cockroaches scurrying when you turn on the lights. From cigarette stained walls. 

I can’t stand things being out of order for too long,

maybe that’s why my life being a mess bothers me so. 

I am from “If your dad loved you he’d call.”

I am from “No wonder your father chose his wife over you”

I am from out of sight, out of mind.

From ‘I’m terrible with communication”

I have stereotypical daddy issues, 

I am always trying to be accepted and loved.

I was born to generations of abuse. Domestic. Substance. Alcohol. Sexual. 

I am from foster care. From don’t express yourself or they’ll leave you.

I am from “No one will ever love you the way that I do.” “Why did you stay?”

From “she died too soon”.

I tell myself tragedy happens to everyone,

I’m not the only one who got dealt a shit hand in life. 

I am from delusional optimism. Glass half full.  

I am from looking for the bright side in everything. 

I am from what I want doesn’t matter.

From “it will get better.”

I adapt quickly, find the gold, don’t focus on the negative.

I’m an optimist because I can’t let it all mean nothing.